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Love for God
The golden rule in Christian dating is to love God. Mark 12:30 And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this [is] the first commandment. KJV.
No one will truly love you if they don’t love God more than they love you. And you will not truly love anyone else if you don’t love God first. God is the Beginning and the Foundation of all things. It becomes difficult to impart this love for God in your children if you don’t have it yourself.
If we focus and spend our strength more on other things like relationship, and not on God, we will definitely not date well. So for a successful dating, we must love God more than we love whoever we want to date.
Date within the faith
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? KJV
Visiting the church alone does not make one a christian. And not making effort to put sin to death in his/her life does not make one a Christian either. Have you observed his seriousness and willingness to grow in faith through discipleship? What are the testimonies about him from those around him? Remember you’re looking for who will compliment what you have and help you grow in faith. Look out for the people who know you best, love you most, and will tell you when you’re wrong. Do not compromise your own beliefs to find a match that may not have same spiritual aim as you.
Get advice from the right people
You do not go to the auto mechanic to inquire about your health. So can you not go to the people outside your faith for advice on dating. There are elders and other Christians couples you envy their marriages you can go to for advice when you need one. Your tested friends who can tell you the truth no matter how it hurts, are also there to help you.
There could be temptations to seek advice from the internet where non believers and teenager are offering solutions, especially solutions that appeal to what you thought or what you wanted in the first place. The truth is that we all need people who truly know us and love us, and who want what’s best for us, even when it’s not what we want in the moment. They’re there to assist us.
Use the social media wisely
It’s not advisable to look for them online. It’s a tradition for people to show their best and hide their weaknesses on social media. I’m sure that’s not the best place to go looking for someone to date.
It doesn’t mean that God cannot use the social media. There’s nothing God cannot use. After all, He gave us the mind to think out many inventions, of which social media is one of them. But it’s unlikely one can get petrol in a shopping mall other than at the petrol station. Any connection on social media should be based on Christian values and it should be made a public knowledge to distinguish the serious ones from the ones who go there to have fun.
Don’t be in a hurry
Being in a hurry will blind you to so many things. Take your time to observe and let it grow. What matters is the quality of the relationship. Quality is not achieved overnight, neither is it achieved in a hurry.
Watch out for lust. Is the connection and what you know about them a true one? Whenever you feel you’re too fast, slow down and double-check yourself. Being too fast most times may be as a result of lust and not having enough information or interaction. Take it easy and let it grow gradually and naturally.
Being open to a friendship can blossom into something more
Friendship often kick starts from collection of interests, church events, or through discipleship. There are more than enough time to meet during Christian meetings and fellowships. Being in the same group in the Church brings people together. Interactive sessions expose you to like minds. Friendships start from such places, and it can develop into something serious.
Physical appearance may not be the drive here, but one’s personality, shared interests and spiritual growth. One’s godliness and growth in faith are easily observed during theses moments. And answers to your questions are found in the process of time.
The man should show leadership
Whatever happens, the man has been given the authority to lead. That’s the position God reserved for him. So he should be able to show direction, and lead in the way as it should be when the dating advances into marriage.
Maintain your purity
Christians are allowed to date like others. But here lies the difference between our dating and their dating. Staying sexually pure during dating is common sense for those who hold a high regard of godliness. Avoid all situations that bring both of you together alone indoors.
Dating often isolates us from other Christians in our lives. The closer we become, the more removed we are from other important relationships. Resist the temptation. Dating in groups or in public is the best way for Christians to date. Get family and good friends involved, who will raise a flag when the relationship is becoming unhealthy.
Date with the right desire
The primary aim for dating is for marital relationship. Coming together of man and wife is not a sin. It’s ordained by God. Therefore, it’s a right desire to want to come together as husband and wife. It’s a desire implanted in us by the Creator Himself. Some date just to escape loneliness or boredom. Some others date simply because they feel they’re of age. Dating without the intention to be married is giving yourself over to a wrong desire.
Kindly share your thought in the comment section below. Thanks and God bless.
DATING
A form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse.
The description of dating in this article does not go in line with the meaning of dating. Dating is a romantic and sexual relationship as the meaning implies. It is fuelled by the devil to make people commit sexual sins. There is no account of DATING in the Bible because God despises sin (however the forms: sexual sins and others). A relationship with marriage in view can start with friendship, both partners can become closer by being best of friends and nothing more. With that kind of relationship, marriage in view can propel one to courtship. We don’t have to date because the world is dating or because we feel that we have to fill a gap in Christians’ settings of relationship. It is a wrong advice to tell people to date (many follow the meaning itself and not what is described above; although, described well but not it the contextual meaning of dating). We can use other word to name the kind of relationship described above, it shouldn’t be dating.
Moreover, we should do all things by the Spirit Leading. The internet and every other people mislead most of the time. We don’t have to follow everything the internet and people advise; it may not be God’s will for out lives. Anything outside the Spirit Leading is misleading and a journey of no way. Know what God wants for you, abstain from sexual kind of relationship (the involves romance, kissing, hugging). It might seems to be a little thing to hug but that act has destroyed many lives today. Never give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:27) to take take advantage of you. Your relationship should ever be in its best with God and not man. Convert that sinful relationship to a relationship of love and faithfulness in God). Age or maturity is a good reason enough to go into a relationship but marriage in view. Don’t allow the devil to take advantage to your age and maturity. Be wise!
Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Finally, I encourage all that have been keeping pure and doing God’s will to continue in it; the Best in future is what you are preparing now). It is also not too late for those that have been getting it wrong and doing the wrong thing to turn back aright to their Creator. Give up all for Christ’s sake, no matter how difficult and challenging it may seem; do it for His sake. Let all evil and sexual relationships outside marriage be terminated: do that prayerfully and faithfully. I pray God will help you to stand firm and always stand aright with Him in Jesus name. AMEN.
Thank you Ayemowa Damilare Amos.
What you pointed out is very correct. The usage of the word “dating” was intentional. We wanted the message to be all encompassing, not only for Christian believers.
There are a lot of young people out there who are confused and do not know how to go about the opposite sex relationship. What many of them know is “dating”. We believe there’s something they can learn from the message to guide them on their comportment, decisions and actions, so that all will be done to the glory of God.
Thank you once again for your contribution. It is very educative.
Remain blessed.
Thank you very much Sir. More Grace to impact lives in Jesus name.